Roller Coaster Gifts

"And that was with the handbrake on!"

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Very Difficult Conversations

'Relax, it's just like riding a rollercoaster.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

End the Winter Blues

Mother Nature's Wild Ride 2007.

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

'Who ever came up with the idea that throwing up is fun?'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Waterfall of Disappointment

Giraffe Rollercoaster

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"Now this is a dog park!"

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

'Stocks rose, then dropped on news that life is full of highs and lows.'

Roller Coaster of Love

Face Painting.

Mine Shaft of Love.

The Day Trader

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'

Roller Coasters

It's busy at the amusement park. The adrenaline's been having fun on the roller coaster, but the stomach cell looks queasy on the tilt-a-whirl! The hormones are going into the tunnel of love again, and the helium atoms are heading toward the complaint booth. They're saying the parachute drop didn't work for them. Any other problems down there? Yeah, the white blood cells are being kicked out. Apparently they tried to attack the staph!

Stock Hurricane Ride

The interminable!

Stock market ups and downs.

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

Mother and child riding a DNA rollercoaster.

"Dad, raise your hands to the sky."