Restaurant Reveller Gifts

When the prey becomes the predator.

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"I say we move on to dessert."

This man is an island.

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

A classic example of Poultry in Motion.

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

Paterfamilias prefers his own bedroom (which the whitewashers have just left) to the discomfort of an hotel.

Building getting a new coat fitted

"Fresh sprinkles for your ice cream?"

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

"What do you mean 'Just shut up and hibernate?!' It's New Year's Eve!"

'That's the problem with absolute power, Sire. It corrupts absolutely. And it always seems to start with the fenders and door panels.'

When alcohol and gimmicky restaurants collide.

Summer Sketches - View of the Seine near Asnières during the dog-days

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'I never get tipped!'

"What's your wifi password?"

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the head and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

No U (Ewe) Turn: But she did, leading to a twenty car pileup that snarled beltway traffic for four and a half hours.

"It's a tad undercooked."