Restaurant Paradox Ponderer Gifts

'You must be skinnier than this to eat at buffet bar.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Tourists

The Artist

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Here's the parking lot."

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Pyramid catflap...

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

How they did it . . .

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'Camel'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Where does this go?'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'