Restaurant Paradox Ponderer Gifts

'You must be skinnier than this to eat at buffet bar.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Tourists

The Artist

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Here's the parking lot."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Pyramid catflap...

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Sphinx with nursing Sphinx pups

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

How they did it . . .

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Camel'

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'