Responsible Pet Owners Gifts

'Spay or neuter your pets, and while you are at it, get yourself fixed too!'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Pick me!"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Foster failure"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

Haute Suture

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"