Pet Responsibility Advocate Gifts

"Good boy, Clifford."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"I have no thumbs."

No littering...

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

Save the unicorn.

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

'I can't recommend the beef.'

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'What's founder?'

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'It's a 'Free Willy From Hollywood' petition: Would you please sign it...'

Save the termites.

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

Occupy: Cartoon shops that make fun of zebras.

If that call's for me, I'm not here.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'