Being A Pet Owner Gifts

'Not all my kids went to the dogs...some of them went to the cats.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Pick me!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Foster failure"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Dog Nightmares

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Haute Suture