Resort Explorer Gifts

'I bet it's just another tourist trap.'

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"A little help, please."

Fist Bumper Cars

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

"We're here to experience pleasure."

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Sunbathing in the park

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Dogs Playing Poker in the Park

"Do you have an appointment?"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I meant the dog!"

Haute Chinese

'I told you not to bark at geese!'

Interpretive napping

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

Tunnel of Whale Guts

'Mother?'

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

"People don't give me bread crumbs. I take them."

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."