Resort Explorer Gifts

'I bet it's just another tourist trap.'

"It says here that they have chopped down all the palm trees and blow up the rocks to make the place look more natural..."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"A little help, please."

Fist Bumper Cars

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

Sunbathing in the park

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"We're here to experience pleasure."

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

Dogs Playing Poker in the Park

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'I told you not to bark at geese!'

'Mother?'

Interpretive napping

Haute Chinese

"I meant the dog!"

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

Tunnel of Whale Guts

Bottomless bowl of soup

The leaning tower of Pizza.

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

"More croutons, sir?"