Rental Explorer Gifts

'I've never heard of this movie. . . it must be good 'cause there's only one copy left on the shelf, Burl.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

Realty. Remember

With their sales slumping due to high gas prices, many RVs are being converted...

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

'What a bargain!'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

"My husband's a lawyer. He's always losing cases."

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

"Airbnb?"

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

Show house. 'I don't like the house. but your champagne's great.'

Godfrey Hunting for Lodgings

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

Drive safely.