Resort Dweller Gifts

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'How about a game of cards?'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

'Arf! Arf!'

Lounging by the pool

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Mohammad's motors

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Come and get it!"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

OM, SWEET OM

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

'I'm really thirsty.'

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"I'm sorry, Marvin. I can only spend so much time off the grid."

"Efficiency tombs available"

Implausible Retirement Housing Options