Resort Dweller Gifts

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'How about a game of cards?'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

Turtle Trailer Court

'Arf! Arf!'

Lounging by the pool

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"Come and get it!"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Mohammad's motors

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

What makes us Canadian? It's in our DNeh!

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

OM, SWEET OM

'We just figured that with the kids travelling so much for soccer, it made more sense to sell our house and get an RV.'

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

"I'm sorry, Marvin. I can only spend so much time off the grid."

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

'I'm really thirsty.'

"Efficiency tombs available"