Mountain Dweller Gifts

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'Living up here is the best I can afford -- I'm still paying alimony from three past lives!'

'What is the meaning of life?'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

Man crawls out of avalanche to see two rescue dogs relaxing.

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

OM, SWEET OM

"And to make matters worse, we can't seem to be able to lure a high-end retailer to these parts."

Caution - Falling Rock Musicians.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Life is great' down on the farm.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Country Bumpkin.

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Turtle Trailer Court

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Mohammad's motors

"Come and get it!"

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Upper West Side Story

'Mobile homes aren't allowed here.'

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'