Golf Course Dweller Gifts

'Are you sure you don't mind me playing through?'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

God in the bunker.

'I'm banned from going to golf with him again: How was I supposed to know I'm not to bring the ball back?'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

'You're away, Doc!'

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

Rodin's Golfer, Rodin's Divot

'Maybe I should use the nine iron.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'Your guy looks a little nervous.' 'Yeah,i know. It's the first time he's ever played in front of such a huge gallery.'

'Of course I can make a commitment. I'm committed to my job, I'm committed to the constitution and I'm committed to my golf game.'

A Lovely Afternoon of Crazy Golf

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

Sam Allardyce

'Are you sure it's ours?'

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'