Resolution Rejectors Pillows

Clancy: Willpower

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"I hate this time of year."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

'Hold the Ferguson report. Ed's had enough information for the day.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

It's sweet of you to ask, Randy, but I've decided just to rent some Mel Gibson movies instead.

'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'

'No, no, of course I think you're beautiful ... it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby pictures of you ... well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head.'

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

'Not getting into university is not going to stop me doing the things I hoped to do...'

What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Year's resolutions. I'm not following you. I've created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Year's resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined she's your soul mate. I've ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the li

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

My New Year's resolution? To come up with some resolutions for the year after next.

New Year's Resolutions...

"Give us a few days and we'll call to tell you we've given the job to someone else."

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

I'd suggest less drinking, less smoking and less watching Paris Hilton on TV as good New Years' resolutions.

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."