Reluctant Responder Pillows

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I am not asking for directions."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

Hot flashes

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

Summer Reading

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

The Imperfect Hostess

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"Say, Honey, I forgot to tell you that the Snootmyers called...they'll be over for drinks in twenty minutes!"

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."