Reluctant Host Pillows

"Say, Honey, I forgot to tell you that the Snootmyers called...they'll be over for drinks in twenty minutes!"

The Imperfect Hostess

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

Airline concerns.

'There's nothing on the telly!'

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

"Instead of cleaning my room, can we just seal the door and call it a time capsule?"

CLEAN YOUR ROOM! 'Out of sight, out of mind...'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'I do more than I want, but it's always less than I should.'

"I'm not a big fan of fresh air and sunshine, but it beats helping dad clean out the basement."

"My art speaks for itself."

Sweeping under the carpet

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"This could be a job for....Slothman. Nahhh."

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

'Will open jars for food.'

'I love Saturdays. . . why couldn't this happen on Monday and ruin a work day?'

"My feet aren't gross. They simply show 'honest wear'".

'My husband hadn't kicked up his heels in 20 years, but he couldn't leave well enought alone.'