Reluctant Patient Pillows

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

"Maybe next week when I'm feeling a little better."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

Summer Reading

Man Readig Paper

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Why men hate shopping.

The Imperfect Hostess

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'