Resolution Rebooter Gifts

bugger...there goes the last of the new years resolutions

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

1080P New Year's Resolution

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Computer tech support sacred offering

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

Holidays are Here, Think!

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Year's resolutions. I'm not following you. I've created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Year's resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined she's your soul mate. I've ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the li

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

'Remember - don't make any New Years resolutions for me!'

"That was fun- we should do New Year's more often."

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

"I'm starting my diet today."