Resolution Upgrader Gifts

1080P New Year's Resolution

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

Mediation Process

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

January Joiner

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

New years resolutions

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

New Year's Resolution.

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

Happy New Year!

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

"My New Year's Resolution is to delegate more..."

"Okay, this summer I've been able to buy a speaker system and a full set of dash knobs. Only 4,387 more parts before I have my own customized ragtop."

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

It's the Fad Herald. I should've upgraded my phone. Hear ye. Today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Hope. Until further notice, that tingly, expectant feeling you're experiencing may be interpreted as optimism, mild euphoria, the illusion of better times ahead. Wow. Now that you mention it. Cool. Wait ... What do you man by illusion? Looking ahead to 2020 trends: Disappointment. Nah. We'll be fine, I'm sure.

Happy new year, Ernie! Happy new year, Frank! This year I'm going to eat a healthy diet. Okay. I'm going to exercise more. Uh-huh. I'm going to get organized. Right. At least until Thursday or so. Then what? I'll resolve to leave well enough alone!

Dear Diary. . . New Year's Resolutions: lose weight, drink less, spend less on clothes. . . stop kidding myself!

"I'm starting my diet today."

"I resolve to cook more traditional meals like my lengua casserole and pig's feet stew!"

This New Year, Emmet Lunday resolves to really change."

"I think you need to update your mobile device."

STRIP Hambone: expensive new computer model

"I have to say, you being less jubilant isn't much of a New Year's resolution."

'Let's just see how intuitive this software really is.'