Resolution Optimizer Gifts

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Mediation Process

Blowing dust off an order book.

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

January Joiner

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

The ROI on social media was not yet optimized.

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

1080P New Year's Resolution

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Kids' energy levels

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New years resolutions

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.