Resource Optimizer Gifts

Blowing dust off an order book.

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Scarcity

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Population rocket

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Reuse it or lose it.

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'You've been rearranging the furniture again, haven't you?'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"It's a terrific space, Tony—but do you think the TV will fit?"

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

The Devolution of Man

How judicious you are/How thin you spread it

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Castle Efficiency

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

Valuable Water

"That's your tiny house!"

'Managing finance is integral to this post. How would you respond to a perfectly reasonable request for extra funds?'

"It's an alert from my smart desk. It wants me to go paperless because it can no longer bear the weight of all the paper I use."

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

Silly man ordered a bed that is too big for his room.