Researching Gifts

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

"When I said dig up everything on the former owners, I meant at the library."

'Researching the opossum article.'

'I don't know anything about anything, but I'm great at looking stuff up!'

A woman in glasses

Thank you for not asking how my experiment is coming along.

"I mean, it can't hurt to google your symptoms before you go ahead and actually call the dermatologist, right? . . . Larry?"

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

Sir Patrick Moore.

Margaret took to market research work like a natural.

employee medical cover and smallprint

I'm not paranoid. . . just well informed.

"I keep up with all the journals."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."