Research Navigator Gifts

I merely wanted to read books.

In the Guru District

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Are we there yet?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Couples' therapy

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Great Therapy!'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

Computer Expert

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"I am not asking for directions."

Between Offices

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"