Reptile Caretaker Gifts

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Babysitting him will be easy: He's just been fed and will be lethargic..."

"Foster failure"

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'Where did the little bird go?'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Horse Clean-up

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

Vodka

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

Meals on Wheels/Wheelie Bins

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

Hamlet.

Nethead strip: Cyperpet off his food

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

'Do human beings get ear mites, Doctor?'

Succeed.

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

"Quit sticking your tongue out at your little brother!"

Worm Appreciation Society!

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

"We're not accusing you of abusing the system, but I understand you've been on Social Security for 150 years."

'What do you mean on second thought you feel fine?'

'The cat actually got his tongue!'

VETERINARIAN, 'He has a nervous twitch.'

'Go on and have fun, I'll keep an eye on him...'