Reptile Keeping Gifts

'And you can't remember why you tied a knot in your snake?'

Amber always kept her python, Howie, in her purse.

"I wasn't trying to rattle you."

"Wow, she didn't freak out when he introduced us as his pets: this one is a keeper!"

"Sometimes I wish I was venomous: I'm sick and tired of being handled all the time. . ."

"Quit sticking your tongue out at your little brother!"

Boa Box

''What's the point of big chompers, we swallow everything whole!"

"My appointment schedule is quite busy, but I'll try to squeeze you in..."

"No seriously, I can't sleep on my back: I could die if nobody were there to turn me back upright..."

"Next time let go of the food sooner!"

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

Snake disappearing through door.

When exotic pets clash: 'What makes you think it was my python that ate your warthog!'

"I'd take a stand against snake haters...but I can't stand."

"Turning blue...breathing difficulty...I think he is allergic to our new pet, doctor."

Frog Eye Chart.

Dear, just because you're adopted doesn

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'