Report Writing Fan Gifts

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

The Fourth Little Pig

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Moby Dick

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

Ask A Silly Question.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

Romulus and Remus

Given seven minutes to finish, he flashed through the weekly report.

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

"Here's the feasibility study you wanted, Chief."

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

"His prose is so muscular."

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

'It's an unauthorized biography of the Chief.'

Good report, Morton, work on it a little more until it sounds like one of mine.

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."

"...there's not a single shareholder...who will be able to understand any part of it!"