Report Aficionado Gifts

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

Good report, Morton, work on it a little more until it sounds like one of mine.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Oligarchy

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Man Reading Laptop.

Fear of news.

'...Next election voters will have a choice of democrat, republican and 'generic'.'

Pre-Television Man Caves

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Putin's Mutual Destruction

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

Joe Biden

They get into debt so fast these days...

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

Hang in There Democracy!

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'