Repairman Gifts

Slot machine.

'Well I know it's still working! It's just not cooling the room as quickly as it used to!'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Procedures

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'I'm beginning to think the definition of 'hero' isn't what it used to be.'

'Too Low?'

'Here's your problem,your chimney is full of bats.'

'We need someone in here, like now.'

"I believe you wanted a light bulb changed."

'Mr. Evans realizes that he is living in uncertain times' Colour

"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."

'Well, if it is a short circuit, I guess the easiest thing to do is lengthen it.'

'This one's broken, I've been stuck here for hours.'

Woodpecker threatening to drop a worker up a pole.

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'Believe me, we've tried everything... All we get is a 'click-click-whirrr' kind of noise, a big 'CLUNK' and then NOTHING!'

"Lady, what's going on down there is an affront to the very idea of boilers."

'I certainly hope it doesn't take me as long to pay the bill as it did for you to get the part.'

Time for a coffee break... I mean, the computer's down.

"Sure my first quote was less. That was before I found the body in the wall."

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

"You need a new radiator. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I blame the system, the cooling system."

'Now then, what seems to be the problem?'

'Are you the guy who called about his air conditioner being stuck 'on'?'

'My guess is, you might be running the jets too high...'

'I tried fixing it myself, but no joy I'm afraid.'

Plumber's t-shirt reads 'How's my bum cleavage?'

"Alright, now see what happens when you turn the faucet off."

"Have you been trying to fix this yourself."

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'I've called maintenance about your bed, Mr. Grimes...Mr. Grimes?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'