Renovation Fanatic Gifts

'We wanted to maintain the integrity of the original house.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'I found the termites!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

7 Dwarves of Fatherhood

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

'Somebody keeps snapping all the stud boards in half. Anybody know anything about this?'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

Renovation work at Mount Rushmore.

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

"That's still too high"

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'This guy's FAST!'

Spring cleaning.

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

"Yeah, I'm just here for winter break. I'm staying with my aunt Maria. She lives down the block."