Remote Collectors Gifts

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"Please feel free to browse."

"I wonder what this was for."

'Universal remote, my eye!'

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'How old is this vase?'

"We've lost the remote."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'Hey Dad, how about a game of ispy?'

'I wish someone would finally make that Oprah Winfrey shush! I would but I can't find the remote.'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Since the invention of the remote control, the average American man has gained 34 pounds!: 'Where is that thing!?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.