Remote Collector Gifts

Six remote tuners?! You really are a "control" freak!

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Nuts to you, too."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Universal remote, my eye!'

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Please feel free to browse."

Orthopaedist

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'How old is this vase?'

'They say that these are also handy for carrying a sleeping bag, pad, tent, foul weather gear, extra clothes, trail mix...'

'Here is your new stereo. It's got a SupaDeep Woofer System, with it's high octane surround sound, I'm sure it will fit smoothly into your life. But for God's sake; don't turn it on.'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Since the invention of the remote control, the average American man has gained 34 pounds!: 'Where is that thing!?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'