Reluctant Socializers Pillows

"We are looking for volunteers to give up their seats and not attend some college friend's wedding in Chicago."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

“Okay, Cindy, don’t think of it as learning ... think of it as a software upgrade!”

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

'Liquor will solve this problem, chief!'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

Back to school anchor

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this committee.'

Summer Reading

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

Man Readig Paper

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

We're actually looking for someone who just wants to get out of the house.

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"I didn't hear Bill Clinton say it was time for me to change."

'I'm sorry darling. I'm not very good company tonight.'

I start teaching summer school next week...

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

'Do we have to stop?... I was hoping to forget about education for a while.'