Reluctant Self-help Listener Pillows

"You are what you choose to become..be happy, chill!"

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

"I am not asking for directions."

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

Live, laugh, love

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

Summer Reading

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

Falcon Reads Book On How To Train Falconer

The Imperfect Hostess

"For Christ's sake, Bob, tuck your shirt in."

"Say, Honey, I forgot to tell you that the Snootmyers called...they'll be over for drinks in twenty minutes!"

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

'Check it out - I used to be filled with rage and controlled by anger, but now - well, now I have a parrot.'

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

Things that don't spark joy