Reluctant Gift Giver Pillows

'Why isn't he wearing the tie I bought him for Christmas?'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

Why men hate shopping.

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

"My wife's bra size? I don't know, about like this I guess."

'I put hopeless at Christmas shopping into a search engine and your name came up!'

'We don't want to give the presentation. We don't know that much stuff.'

"I can catch up with all the chores my wife wants done over the Labor Day weekend."

"Must you walk around in your underwear? -- My wife and KIDS are in here, for crying out loud!"

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

Never getting the right present phobia: 'I know there's nothing in it. You have everything.'

"It's very me, but I hate myself."

"My dishwasher isn't working. He got fired yesterday."

The Fierce Urgency of Now

'The party at school was awful! -- The teacher didn't like the Valentine underwear I got for her.'

'I need some help finding the perfect gift for that not so perfect someone.'

'This is the only way I can get him to come shopping with me...'

Stopping the Cuckoo Clock.

"You got me flowers for our anniversary? How sweet, hone...and this year you're only three weeks past the actual date!"