Reluctant Foodie Pillows

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Fast Food Dieter

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"He's a fussy eater."

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'That's typical of him, to ruin our first decent night out in ages.'

Why men hate shopping.

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"I'm putting you on a skipping diet. . .Skip cakes and wine."

'I love broccoli, but not enough to eat it.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

'It's the only way I can get him to help me with the shopping.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'Will open jars for food.'