Reluctant Diners Pillows

'That's typical of him, to ruin our first decent night out in ages.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

'Red or white wine with fish?' 'They're dead. They don't care.'

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

Spaghetto

'Can I start you off with a nice soup bone?'

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

'A table for two?'

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"Baldo, why are you eating dessert first?"

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

"Garlic Bread?"

Why men hate shopping.

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'No dinner for me mum. I don't want to spoil my appetite for in between meal, snacks.'

'I still don't know how you got a booking here Bryan.'

"Here, this might fit."

This fly is doing the backstroke