Foodie With Restrictions Pillows

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

She's just discovered her irritable bowel syndrome isn't caused by chocolate!

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

Dieting Motivation.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Supermarket Aisles.

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

The Sprats

'Of course, I love you, Debbie... but I'm too young to be tied down to one refrigerator!'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Sorry to keep asking, but are you sure you prepared mine separately?'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

'What's our offence? We've been on bread and water for 40 minutes.'

'Let's see...we've taken you off smoking, drinking and rich food. What else do you enjoy?'

'Would you like the low-carb, gluten-free, or the hell, bring-it-on section?'

"Will you be dining with others tonight, or just the company of your smartphone?"

"Sorry, dear. I couldn't find a gluten or lactose-free sugarless non-GMO raw-vegan birthday cake..." "Tell me that's a nutless mulch muffin."

What do you suggest for someone on a diet who wants to leave room for dessert?

'Push away from the food, good...'