Reluctant Dieter Gifts

"Salad for lunch?"

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

'I've got a problem.'

Obesity problems in the UK.

Healthy Eating Fast

"Well done Fred, you've lost a bit more..."

'I'm scared that there's a fat woman outside of me, trying to get in.'

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'