Reluctant Dater Pillows

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

Spud dating.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

Nethead strip: Dates

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

Summer Reading

Valentines Day.

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

'Who cares where Waldo is?'

Man Readig Paper

Why men hate shopping.

Ventrilamatch.com

"We were two ships that passed in the night for a couple of nights in a row."

"I've never dated a yam before, tell me a bit about yourself."

"Been lookin' for love in all the wrong carnivals."