Reluctant Bather Gifts

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'How's the water, dear?'

The US election is over.

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

"Endless Summer III"

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

Airline concerns.

'Why is it the one moment I choose to relax you walk in?'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

'There's nothing on the telly!'

"You're going to the Partner's Social whether you like it or not!"

"You know your problem, Monte? There's more to life than always checking how your stocks are doing."

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"Yes, it is true! I've finally persuaded Derek to take a holiday."

'Dad, do you really think trying to sell me life insurance counts as quality time?'

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

'Ah! This is the life...' - 'No phones. No computers. No hassle.' - 'All I have to do is lie out in the sun...' - '...and fret endlessly about skin cancer.'

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'