Reluctant Babysitter Pillows

'I'm too old to be a grandfather!'

"Bad dog."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

'...I don't want people to get the impression that I'm so passionate about my work that I'll be taking it with me!...'

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

Stop staring at that screen saver!

Airline concerns.

'I'm sorry I didn't come to work yesterday, sir -- somehow, it seemed like Sunday.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

Today's Babysitter

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"Oh, how I ...give me a push... hate Mondays."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'I'm glad she's relaxed, but I'm pretty stressed out.'

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

The Imperfect Hostess

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

"Say, Honey, I forgot to tell you that the Snootmyers called...they'll be over for drinks in twenty minutes!"

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."

"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."

"Baldo, I need you to take this out to the dumpster."

"John's never been a fan of the static caravan."

'I was placed under house arrest for not doing housework.'