Relocating For Winter Gifts

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Keeping warm.

Boy makes snowman around a lamp post.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

While You Were Out: We Moved!

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'Being angry about shovelling snow will only make it harder for you, daddy...you need to just accept the snow...instead of thinking of it as a chore, you hate, make friends with it.'

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'That was quite a snow storm last night.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Yep, you get to a certain age and you just want to fly south for the winter.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Nest building

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

'Don't forget your thermos.'

"You can pack this back up now."

A snowman, Frankenstein's monster and a scarecrow watch a fireplace DVD.

"Didn't I say to just sprinkle salt on it!"

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

Ye Haul.

Frank and I are looking into moving to that new condo that went up next door

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

'Do you notice when it's forty below, people quit kicking the oil companies?'

Couldn't we just rend a second place down south?

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"CCCOOOLD!"