Religious Studies Aficionado Pillows

"Do I have one too?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"I can't eat another Christian - they' re full of Dogma."

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"Apple pie! This is no trick, is it?

"The last doggy bag."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"He changed water into wine!"

Brigham Young

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Well, we needed the rain."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Yes, all at once!'

Trappist Monk Discord

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'