Religious Studies Lover Pillows

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Hot cross buns

"Waiter! There's something evolving in my primordial soup!"

'I'll have to make a lot of copies!'

"Hey, I'll download them to my tablet too."

"It's a note from Jesus. He's gone to Cancun for Easter break."

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"You love me, you really love me!"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"The hyenas started it."

'Yes, all at once!'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Trappist Monk Discord

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The World's Biggest Book Club

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

How world war III started.

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'