Religious Person Gifts

"I always feel a tad secular on Saturday nights."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Night-time halo

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

At the 2021 Religious Games

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"All we have left is standing room only."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Priest

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

Ten Commandments

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Christian and Born again Christian...

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"What did Jesus order?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

The ecumenical dinner party.