Religious Leader Pillows

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

"Remember,this is a one-shot, not an entitlement."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Trappist talk show.

'I don't make the rules, folks -- I just carry them down the mountain.'

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

'So, yeah! Take it home, look it over, and if anybody has any feedback my door is always open.'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

"Hold on-I think you got my toast."

'Basically, it's a ten-step program....'

"You had more money than God. That's a big no-no."

'He only got this job because of who his dad is.'

"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."

'I have something to tell you, Moses...'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

Monk at monastery walks by sign ??" In Case of Fire: Break vow of silence.

"O.K., so the meek shall inherit the earth, and the rich will have a hard time getting into Heaven. But what about the middle class?"

"The other five require a subscription to read."

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

The Sistine Chapel-circa 1512

'Can you prove it's your hat?'

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

Politics, Finance, Religion.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Sometimes I wonder if we haven't carried ecumenism a bit too far."

"No, these are not fake news."

'Samaritans, mission control'

'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'

'Hello, I'm your new service provider'.

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'Did you run them through the spell-check?' (god, moses and the ten commandments)

Moses crosses the Grand Central Parkway

"If you've finished reading the tablets, please pass them back to the front."

Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'