Future Religious Leader Pillows

'I'm thinking of starting a religion. What would be a reasonable initial investment?'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Home depot."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Yearbook

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Priest

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .