Future Religious Leader Gifts

'I'm thinking of starting a religion. What would be a reasonable initial investment?'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Yearbook

"Home depot."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Golfing Bishop.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

At the 2021 Religious Games

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Priest