Religious Humor Seeker Gifts

'I'm sorry, Lord, it's my ears, I thought you said Noah, build an arch!'

Benefits of going out to eat with Jesus.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"You call this a constitution?"

Dogma

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Pope tarts.

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

A woman in prayer

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

Finger puppets in church.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."