Religious History Buff Gifts

'Sorry...it just slipped !'

Ducks crossing the Red Sea.

Catholic Priest's Tally.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Yes, all at once!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'King Solomon had seven hundred wives, Ed, and you just have the one. Surely you can work out your differences.'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

"He changed water into wine!"

"The last doggy bag."

Martin Luther's 96th Thesis

"Sure, but Mrs. Noah did make some design changes while you were out collecting beasties."

'Did you keep a back up in the cloud?'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Moses Parting the Red Tea

'I'd say it's six of one and one half dozen of the other.'

Antique shop owner looks at old chalice, saying: 'Well, it MIGHT be worth something if it had the original myrrh inside.'

Cubits? Haven't You gone metric yet?

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

Travel...Special: 'Wander the Sinai Desert just like Moses! Only $999- per person.'

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

'As you suspected, Your Grace, these heretics refuse to embrace the principles of equality and diversity.'

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

John Wycliffe

'Forty years wandering in the desert? -- but my legs have already begun to go!'

'Quit calling it an OMG-story, Larry. As I recall, I was the one who got them evicted from Paradise.'

"It's Judas. . . 5 units. . . he's exceeded his daily alcohol allowance!"