Religious Commentary Fan Gifts

Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses - No soliciting.

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

A surprise in heaven

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"Hallelujah!"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Does Christianity have the monopoly on morality?

Moral Outrage.

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

"I have to confess a sin, Preacher. I went premarital shopping."

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

"Can we discuss this?"

Obey the Book or be damned!

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

Pope's blessing.

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

Reading the Bible.

Bureaucrats Resting On Hercules Soldier.

"Dude....I just came back from the dead! I need a coffee, not a bloody chocolate egg!"

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."