Religion-banter Admirer Gifts

Liquor lorry driver being given directions in highly religious area

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Punk Reindeer

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

The ecumenical dinner party.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

Church restrooms

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

Gates of heaven

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'